Extremely Delicious Buffalo Blue Chips and Efficient Self Checker on Left...Old Man Slow Checker with Grandkids on Right
Alright...here it is. First off, Kettle Chips are delicious. More so, Buffalo Bleu Kettle Chips, these things are bang up. If you haven't housed a bag lately, give in and cram your face with these crispy buffaloey morsels.
On a more serious revolution spurring note, if you don't have confidence in your self check out skills, give the fourteen year old kid in lane 5 some work and don't use the self checkout! I hereby implement the following criteria regarding self checkout personnel eligibility:
- You know how to use or preferably regularly use what society has dubbed a "computer."
- Understand the basic principles of which way to turn the barcode for the scanner to read it.
- Recognize that bananas and avocados do not have barcodes, and you will need to exercise some higher level thinking to enter the number on the little sticker.
- Fully understand that if you have coupons the people behind you are going to be pissed.
- Comprehend that there is a scale and weight measure involved in the process, and if you scan a box of Wheaties and don't place it on the scale it will tell you to please wait for an attendant. At this point you have caused 100% gridlock and defeated the purpose of self checkout, the people behind you are once again pissed.
- Your conscious is OK with stealing a 28cent lemon if the computer tells you to "place it in the bag."
- Understand there is no true help at the self checkout, generally the attendants are not the gold-star-cashiers and you are on your own. If your computer says "please wait for attendant," the people behind you are going to be pissed.
- Realize it is not a good idea to buy booz at the grocery store, much less the self checkout, after all, the computer can't tell your 21.
- Recognize that if you need to ask any questions regarding how to use the machine, the people behind you are going to be pissed.
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